Hayley's Blog

Todd and I became licensed foster parents today. He stayed home this morning to meet with the person from the KDHE, and when he called me after she’d left our house I expected him to say we hadn’t passed the inspection and we had more work to do. But he didn’t say that, he said that we passed. And that she thought our kids’ room is cute (which it totally is).

I would’ve been pretty upset if we hadn’t passed since we have now closely followed two separate checklists of things to do to our home for it to be considered fit for foster children. But I was also surprised we passed, and had this feeling of “Well, we sure tricked them.”

That feeling of trickery doesn’t come from a place of actual deceit.  We made all the necessary changes to our home, had 4 different Youthville/KDHE workers into our home on 6 separate occasions, went through 10 weeks of classes which included 10 weeks of homework, turned over personal health and financial information, and let our friends be interviewed as to our mental and emotional fitness. So Youthville and the KDHE definitely did their due diligence on us and know exactly who it is they’re allowing to care for foster children.

I think I just feel like we “tricked” them in the same way I feel like Todd and I trick all of the world, everyday, into thinking that we’re grown ups who actually belong in the grown up world. Because I’m still pretty sure we don’t belong. And I’m pretty nervous about caring for other peoples’ children. But I’m also really excited.

Any day now we could have foster kids in our home, and I plan on sharing here the little bit I can about our experiences (mostly about our feelings/thoughts, next to zilch about the actual kids).

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by Hayley on January 9, 2012 · 4 comments
in Fostering

Hi! Remember me? At one time I blogged regularly. I don’t do that so much anymore, so you should just stop expecting it and I’ll stop apologizing when I don’ t do it. Deal? Deal.

So what has kept me busy lo these many weeks? Well, first up is getting our house ready to be licensed for foster children. Has this been the longest licensing process in Kansas state history? Yes, yes it has. Thanks for asking. But a few weeks ago we got on the Youthville licensing person’s calendar for November 29 (or so we thought – foreshadowing!) and really got to work.

A couple weekends ago our friends’ brother-in-law installed what we feel are rather unnecessary railings on the front of our house. He also fixed the loose/already-fallen-off bricks on our front steps, and came in under budget. He’s our new favorite person.

This past weekend my parents thought they were coming into town for Thanksgiving and family time but were actually lured here to work on our house. They installed our baby gate and curtain rods, and only put one unnecessary (and rather large) hole in our walls. Thanks, Mom and Dad!

Todd and I did some work ourselves, such as securing the shelves in our bathroom. And making the bed in the kids’ room. And installing a carbon monoxide detector that, 3 days later, still has not fallen off the ceiling.

Then Todd called the Youthville licensing person yesterday to see if we really have to put big locks on the doors to our basement. He’s worried the big locks will give guests the impression that we’re hiding a person down there. (Just like in that Kirstie Alley movie I watched on Lifetime because I knew we were about to cancel cable and I wanted to get in all the Lifetime movies I could before it was too late.) Turns out, we probably won’t have to put big locks on the doors. Also turns out, the Youthville licensing person isn’t actually a licensing person. She’s a person who comes to our house to tell us what we need to do to get licensed by the state licensing person, who’s a totally separate person who will come on another day.

At this point I would like to stress that Todd and I both communicate with all sorts of people every day, and we never have as much trouble as we do when communicating with Youthville employees.

Anyway, this revelation meant that last night, instead of cleaning my poor house to within an inch of its life, I left my very clean house alone and got to work on something else that I guess I’ll tell you about tomorrow because this post is getting long enough as it is, and Todd says my posts are often too long. So, um, please come back tomorrow for some slightly interesting news (cliffhanger!).

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by Hayley on November 29, 2011 · 0 comments
in Fostering

Things I Learned About Foster Parenting While Watching My Friends’ Kids.

1. Dora the Explorer is awful. She teaches children nothing, not even Spanish. As far as my future foster kids know, Dora doesn’t come in on our TV. Weird, right?
2. Blue’s Clues is awful. And soul crushing. I happened to watch the episodes that transitioned from Steve to his brother Joe. I hadn’t realized how dead behind the eyes Steve was until Joe took over for him. Poor Steve. As far as my future foster kids know, Blue’s Clues doesn’t come in on our TV.
3. Free Willy is about 109 minutes too long. I somehow made it to this ripe old age of mine without having seen Free Willy. One of the little girls I watched must have known this fact and thought it her responsibility to rectify the situation, because I watched that movie about seven times last week. I loved the first three minutes, which is orcas swimming and jumping out of the water. Then the rest of the movie started. I really think the film makers could have done more for the plight of whales in captivity by just showing those first three minutes on repeat 37 times. My future foster kids will think Free Willy is a three-minute movie.
4. Foster kids should be checked for harmonicas upon arriving at the home. Jesse, the kid in Free Willy, is a foster kid. He also has a harmonica, which he “plays” when he’s feeling sad, or pensive, or lonely (the acting wasn’t too great, so I’m not sure which emotion he was trying to convey). This harmonica was very annoying, and so harmonicas (and recorders, and lutes, and really all other pocket-sized instruments) will not be allowed in my home.
5. It’s a bad idea to argue about a foster child within earshot of said child. Doing so might even lead him to run away and, along with a wise Native American and the girl from A League of Their Own, kidnap an orca. I feel like that might lead to a home visit from the case worker.
6. Kids do want to watch Yo Gabba Gabba, even if they initially say they don’t. It really is a soothing balm for the brain after the inanity of Dora and Blue’s Clues.

Yes, all of the things I learned relate to TV or movies. And yes, while the children I was watching were in front of the TV, the American Academy of Pediatrics did release its recommendation that children under 2 years old shouldn’t watch TV.  All I can say in my defense is that clearly no one at the American Academy of Pediatrics has ever watched two children under the age of 27 months by herself.

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by Hayley on October 28, 2011 · 2 comments
in Fostering